Critical Writing...

Hola Bloggies!

Today is Mid Exam Day!!! Was I ready for it??? HELL NO!!

Everything was in a mess the whole week. The more I reminded myself that exam is coming up, the more other things crop up till I couldn't find the time to even look at the schedule, what more doing revision. Everything else needed my immediate attention. Work pressing. Heart caring. Health warning. Overall, stressful week.

But things turned worse and out of hand yesterday, I feel like walking out and just leave everything. I started my day at 6am, was scheduled for work at 9am. My lines are one after another page, like close to 70% of the script and have been that way for the last 2 days. The translated script were like &$#@!!! I have to amend and add almost every line for every character until I almost blow up at the technician. Not to mention my own weakness and a new technician. Finally, it took me 2 1/2 hours to complete 1 episode.

Looking at my watch, I know I could not complete the other episode in time so I left to pick up my daughter. Coming back, the Madam was still dubbing and she was fussing about a word I used. The problem is that word was an issue before, and when I used the corrected word, she claims that it was out of context and keep blaming me because since I have used that word, she used it as well and we had to re-dub the lines. Not enough with the fussing, Madam went on to make some harsh remarks which was intended to me to some other dubbers when I was still there!! I was trying so hard to keep cool and left without even dubbing when it's time to collect my daughter back from school as she was still stuck in the studio.

Went back, had early dinner, I planned to go back to studio after Maghrib prayers. My mistake, while waiting for the Azan, I lie awhile & stretched myself... Next thing I know, it was almost 1 am. No calls received as my handphone battery went dead. Rushed out from the house only to realize that I have left my bag with fresh change of clothes and pencil case behind. Went to the studio, fearing the wrath of Madam as she might tried to call me. Charged the phone and was surprised that nobody called!!! Wow! That's a first. Usually Madam will call or send a message if she wants me at the studio but couldn't get me or if I haven't finish. I kept quiet, spent another 3 hours on dubbing of 1 episode, ending at 4 am.

Once I finished, Madam told me that I have to help her with urgent translation. The key word here is HAVE TO! Ha ha ha! No wonder there were no calls or nasty remarks about my disappearing act! Hah! Turn a sweet face when you want something right??? Blah!

Anyway, I went back to my mom's place, did my revision while doing laundry. My mom... my angel... my idol, its her utmost happiness when I told her that I am studying again, so nicely made me breakfast :) I take it as her showing her support for me taking exam today.

Finished hanging laundry at 8.15 am. Stop by at Petronas looking for 2B pencil. NO PENCIL! Looked at the time then, oh no! Time to FLY to P.J for exam at 9 am. Luckily, Rosma was my savior for the day. She borrowed me her pencil. I felt like in primary school again. Ha ha ha!

So now, I am waiting for another paper. Writing this as part of my Critical Writing subject. I pushed away work aside for now because at this moment... I AM A STUDENT!

Questions...

Hello Bloggers...

I guessed my last post had an effect on someone who is close to me and guessed it hurt him instead. He asked me a question on what does he mean to me. I couldn't find the right words to explain this to him. In response to my silence, he hung up. You might be wondering why I kept my silence. Simple, I'm not ready to respond to that question at the moment.

I simply cannot answer. Under these circumstances, I simply cannot answer. What answer will there be? Superficial? Hurtful? Honest? I have said something on previous occasions but maybe it wasn't clear to him. Maybe if he reflect back on our relationship, he would understand why I cannot answer.

To you, as I know you would be reading this. In your own words to me before this, let time run its course, InsyaAllah. Loving someone does not mean you have to have him or her, they are not yours to keep. Be content to love, if only from afar...

My Love...

Hello Bloggie,

Happy "supposed-to-be" Anniversary for me. Should have been 9 years today. Wished it could have been 9 wonderful years. But the journey had been too rocky for me to withstand. I couldn't bear it any longer, but my heart is filled with sorrow. Still hurts so much. How I wished it had never happened. But it did. And I could not forgive myself for letting it happen. I could not forgive myself for letting go.

Nevertheless, I wish all the happiness in the world for him. I'll remember this date for the rest of my life. I thank Allah s.w.t for giving me a chance to be with him, if only just for a little while. And if Allah s.w.t wills us to cross our path again someday... Kun Fayakun. I'll be right here waiting.


Now listening to...





The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here




*You know who you are ....*

Sounds of the heart II...

That is you…
The one who knows most about me and still loves me, is the one who loves me the most.
That is you...
The one who knows the most embarrassing things about me, is the one who loves me the most.
That is you...
The one who knows 99 of my flaws but puts my one quality above them, is the one who loves me the most.
That is you...
I want to be yours.

NEW YEAR 2011!!!

Happy New Year to all...

Look forward to a new year of new adventures.. Said my goodbyes to old year and closed my diary for 2010. Don't want to even bother to recap but to summarize it... It's hell and hope merged into one.

SMS from my life:

"Happy new year! Keep moving forward, n lets make this year a great history!"

Will do just that my dearest one... will do just that.

I will not be making new year resolutions. I've never seem to be able to keep them anyway. But what I did was... I've made plans. Yup, signed and sealed.

My plans are:-

1) Further my studies - I've enrolled in OUM for Bachelor in English Studies with Honors and will be registering there on 8th January 2011. Target is to be on Dean's List for the 1st semester.

2) I will reduce my weight. I'll be starting on a weight plan regime on 3rd of January 2011. Which, to my mom's delight, will include exercising.

3) I have just changed the view from my bedroom window. Now what I need to do is to make it my home.

4) I have also changed my work life to be more flexible. Now I have to make sure that I work hard enough and not playing around too much.

This is what I have so far. Might be enough to keep me busy all year round, who knows?

I pray Allah s.w.t to give me the strength, health and ability to go through my plans and not sway from it. And my prayers goes out to you too dear readers. No matter what race or religion, man or woman, mother, sister, father, brother or child, near or far.

Let's have a great 2011!