My Pinky Baby!

Hello there!!!

A nerve-wreaking day today as I waited to see my new baby. I used to own one of these before. I bought this baby in 1995 (if i'm not mistaken) 

KAWASAKI ZZR 250

I've only rode the bike myself twice. The second time, it fell on me right in front of my mom's house & I could not lift it up. At 5'2" and 45kg at the time, this bike was too big for me. But at the time, my dreams were bigger and I was adamant that I wanted this bike. I was then confident that I could ride it, as I was learning to ride on a 500cc bike. And so I bought this baby, in green & black. Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had to let it go to a friend. And until now I wished I hadn't, as that friend passed away in an accident while riding this bike.

However, circumstances again put me in a situation of needing a 2-wheeler. Of course bicycle is not an option (although, thinking of it now, it might be a better & healthier option), I finally gave in to acquire a new set of wheels. Considering between two options, I decided to choose one over another due to its safety features. And so I nervously waited for my Pinky Baby (as I dubbed it) to be ready.

Called the shop as soon as I woke up to re-confirm its readiness. Went there with my two children to welcome the newest member of our family. After all the formalization, I became a proud owner of this new toy.

My 2 human babies with PINKY BABY!

Mind you, I have not ride a bike on my own since 1995. So you can just imagine how nervous I was. It took me a while to even start it. I looked at my son with despair... hoping he would save me from this situation. I felt the shop owner's eyes boring holes behind my back, eyeing me like a hawk, ensuring I really would be able to ride it and he would be able to get his next payment.

But I know my son will not be there for me on a daily basis & I need to know how to ride. The mechanic advised me to fill up petrol & told me where was the nearest petrol station. I summoned all the courage I have, take a last look at my human children and off I go.... at 30kmh...40 kmh... wobbling, trying to focus on balancing the throttle.

At the petrol station, out of habit, I went in to the counter, instead of paying from outside. The cashier looked at me questioningly as I hand over a RM10 note. Went over to the pump and filled up until full (about RM5.60) Started the engine and rode off back to the shop, only to find my children have gone home already.

Okay.... Now I do not have any other choice but to ride the bike back to my mom's place on my own. Contemplating on which better way to use, I opted for the main road. Hoping I would fare better there then on a smaller inner road. All along the way, my mind kept playing images of nasty motorcycle accidents. Thoughts went haywire. The only thing that was making me sane was by reciting surah and selawat all the way.

Finally, I was home. Safe & sound. Still vibrating from the trip and flushing from the adrenaline rush, I almost trip over while trying to place it on double stand. But I made it... all on my own. The first bike that I was able to place on a double stand on my own, without any help at all (Yippiee!!) I was beaming with pride.

Only when I sat down at the sofa I realised, that I didn't take the balance of my money at the petrol station. (o.O)

Another step to make...

Everyday is an adventure for me. Tomorrow brings another new adventure. I'll be joining throngs of daily rush hour commuters, heading to a common location. My relentless search efforts finally rewarded me with the result I have been waiting for. I am so thankful to Allah s.w.t for giving me this opportunity. An opportunity that I will never let go.

The past few days have been busy. With re-arranging daily schedules, budget planning and shopping. I had to discontinue my bootcamp sessions as the timing is off. Now need to figure how to fit a different exercise regime to my schedule. 30 minutes a day, that's all I need. But pre & post 30 minutes is another 5-10 minutes. So I need a gap of 1 hour at least.

In the course of 11/2 years, a lot of things had happen. Some leading me forward to the life I wanted, some pulling me back. At times I felt so disheartened, I'd give up. But every time it made me want the difference more. At times I felt so tired trying to push it away, I'd give in. But every time the pain gets worse. Every inch of me will be screaming to get away from the situation. As I know how it will end... nowhere, as before.

Each time I felt like giving up, I'd look around me. I've achieved this much over the last 1 1/2 years and there is no reason for me to turn back. Only all the reason for me to go forward. I don't dwell on how things could have been, only dwell on how to make things better. My past is a lesson learnt well and my future is planned more carefully. Maybe one of two risk taking activities to quash the Sagittarius in me, however it will no longer be those huge life changing experiences... maybe more to adrenaline pumping kind of stuff.

Change is good when the change is for the better. Believe in thyself as no one would believe in thee. People can condemn other people easily as they only see what they wanted to see, feel only what they wanted to feel. Only I would know what I'm going through and what I want the end to be. So I couldn't care less. People can say I'm heartless, selfish, egoistic bitch. Since people know so much about me, why wait? Stop making excuses to cover your own shortcomings. Stop pointing fingers to others, blaming others for your own mistakes. You know why I say stop? Because I did.

There was nothing in my past that was forced on me. Everything was something that I have chosen for myself. So I only have me to blame. And I only have me to correct. Now I look at myself, imagining I'm my own laptop. I'd function well, but sometime I would hang for whatever reason. And my best buddy will be the button called... RESTART.

Shhhh.....

Wow...

I know sometimes it is better to keep quiet rather then talking too much. But it hurts when people misunderstands you. Then when I try to speak out, try to explain things, people say that I'm good at twisting my words. Fine... I'll keep quiet. Go ahead... think what you want to think of me. If you think that I'm so heartless... fine. Go ahead. All I can say is, thank you.

The student in me....

Went to register for my 3rd semester today and took my modules. As I've mentioned before, I'll be taking 4 subjects instead of 3 this year to make up for the lost time.

Subjects that I'll be taking this semester are:

1) English for Oral Communication
2) Reading and Writing across the Curriculum
3) Introduction to Business Communication
4) Introduction to Linguistics

Heavy stuff. Heavier as all subjects will have assignments and final exam. (T^T) Sure wished that I did not take the extra subject. But there is no turning back and I need to complete the additional subjects anyway before taking on the more heavier subjects. One of the lecturer had warned us about one of the subject we were going to take this semester, as he had only 1 student last semester for this subject, still the student did poorly. I could not remember which one.

So, I've got to get ahead and start my reading sessions. I've already started on the Oral Comm. Need to complete a few chapters to be ready for T1 at the end of the month.

Wish me luck guys!!

Movie Time!!!

Me & FK2 have been meaning to see "We bought a zoo" but when we went to our usual cinema, the show was over for the day. As we were about to walk back, FK2 saw the trailer for Satu Malam Kubur Berasap and wanted to see the movie. Honestly, I don't fancy comedy genre so much especially those that are supposed to be horror movies. But FK2 almost always get what she wants. Even with all the bribery of going to the arcade, getting ice cream & marshmallows, she still wanted to see the movie. And so we went.

Armed with popcorn, milo & sweetcorn, we got in our seats and settled in. Once all the advertisements were over, a movie entitled The Darkest Hour began. I was like Huh?? Started looking around, checking our tickets. Seeing everyone else was doing the same thing. Some people walk out to find the staff in-charge. Obviously they had played the wrong movie as everyone had the same tickets. 

When finally the correct movie was played, I just relaxed, munching on popcorns as I was very sure that the horror part will not be horrifying at all. True to my words, not horrifying but quite shocking at times. And unfortunately for me, there was this one time, I wasn't paying much attention to the movie, when suddenly a shadow passed by out of nowhere. I almost jumped out of my skin and some of the popcorn in my hand jumped out of its barrel on to my head and the audience behind me laughed. FK2 doubled over with laughter when I told her I won't hold the popcorn anymore.

The storyline was lame. Three friends, Atan, Bun and Pie combined with Mie, who had some problems with his car, were approached by Siti, who was trying to get their help in revenging her death.However, the 1st part of the move was unrelated at all to this incident. It was focusing more on each individual's experience with ghosts. Nevertheless, I applaud the effort. Should this was a serious horror movie, the ghosts are believable. But the antics of this 4 friends did not escape FK2 as she laughed out 80% of the time. As usual, I had to listen to her never ending review the whole journey back home. I was glad she enjoyed it.

Anyway, I still wanted her to watch "We bought a zoo". Still fresh from her last visit to the zoo, I'm sure she would enjoy the movie. Booked seats for Saturday. Looking forward to watch it. Let you know my reviews for the movie afterwards. 

Ciou!

Hooyah!!!

Phew! What a way to start a new year. I've had my first bootcamp session this morning. We started with our warm up session, then 2 benchmark test and warm down. I was paired with Theresa, who is a month senior. (Would be my batch  mate if not for my bad ankle)

1st benchmark test: 3 sets of 2x200meter jog, 10 push ups / 15 if legs bent, 10 crunches & 10 sit ups / 20 if assisted.

My achievement? 1 full set & 1x200meter walk :(

2nd benchmark test: 8x200meter jog.

My achievement? 6x200meter walk XD

I guess Sjn Nawal must have given up on me but at least Cpl Rizz did his best to motivate me to at least jog a bit. And for someone who have not exercised for a very very long time, I think I did well (minus the vomiting part)

Come on guys... who dares to join me?? Syok tau! Details at http://www.bootcamp.com.my or you can always Shout out! to me.

Goodbye 2011!!

Okay readers... We are at the end of 2011. So much has happened in the year. Happiness & sorrows, hope & betrayals, disillusionments & disappointments, love & hate, friendships & family. Time to reflect back on what I have gone through in the year before planning my steps ahead to 2012. Hopefully, this will help me in paving the path of my life journey. 


We start with reviewing my 2011 plans:


1) Further my studies - I've enrolled in OUM for Bachelor in English Studies with Honors and will be registering there on 8th January 2011. Target is to be on Dean's List for the 1st semester.

2) I will reduce my weight. I'll be starting on a weight plan regime on 3rd of January 2011. Which, to my mom's delight, will include exercising.

3) I have just changed the view from my bedroom window. Now what I need to do is to make it my home.

4) I have also changed my work life to be more flexible. Now I have to make sure that I work hard enough and not playing around too much.


Okayyy.... only two was striked off. (T^T)

Studies


My first semester in OUM was a success. I've managed to achieve Dean's List for my 1st semester as targeted. Not only that, I've got a 4flat. (o.0) I even shocked myself. Never thought I could get that score. It inspired me to continue on, telling myself... I really could do this.


However, when I registered for my 2nd semester, work got in the way. I've taken all my study materials, skimmed through the contents & assignments but I totally forgot to attend my 1st tutorial. Only when my batchmate smsed me the next day that I remembered. I had to make a quick decision. My work schedule was so tight, and after skimming through the modules, I know I would not be able to understand unless I went to the tutorials. Missing 1 tutorial is a huge deal as we have only 4 tutorials per semester. So I decided to defer the semester.


When I registered for my 3rd semester (2nd officially), I realized that I have made a good decision. All of my batchmates' had lower grades for that semester due to the stress of having 3 assignments to be submitted all at once. But I felt sad as now I won't be graduating with them. I made a point not to miss my tutorials this time and luckily towards the end of the year, work was not as hectic, so I was able to concentrate on my studies. I can say I did quite well in my mid-year exam & assignment and results showed that I have passed the subject. My finals will only show if I have it to maintain on Dean's List. 


Now I've registered for my 4th semester (3rd officially) but instead of 3 subjects, I'll be taking 4 subjects to make up for the lost time so that I could complete together with my batchmates. (^-^)


Weight


For all who knew me personally knows that this is a never ending battle for me. My highest for the year is 78.2kg. Last I weighed myself I was at 74.6kg. My final effort for the year, joining a bootcamp, was a disaster as I sprained my ankle on the 1st 2 minutes of session, resulting to a bench sitting session instead.


However, I have rescheduled myself for the upcoming session starting 2nd January 2012. A good start to the new year!! (^-^) - Must slim down as the target is to take a new family photo on Aidilfitri. Hehehe....

THE MUST CHANGE PHOTO!!

p/s: Changes in appearances & family members need to be taken into consideration as well.


Home


I moved to another block since middle of the year and settled in quite okay. The only sad part is I have to be separated from my son as the house is an all-girls only. Before moving over, we had a discussion and decided this is the best option as he wouldn't be around much anyway due to his studies. We will make do until he completes his studies or if I can find some better arrangements. Still need a few items to make it more conducive for me and my daughter.  


Work


Okay. This is the tricky part. Having flexibility in time is great but working on your own means no stability. Something that I could not afford to have. So, I've started job hunting since November without any luck yet. At my age, I know it is not easy to get a job with so many competitors out there. Plus, not like I have any technical abilities that can make me stand out or specialized. Any freshie can do administration/secretarial work. I had to bank on my past experiences in various industries to make me more unique. Although it might scare off potential employers as it seems that I change jobs frequently, all I need is an interview to be able to explain myself why. 


Finally on the 29th, I've got a call for interview on the 5th January 2011 at a well-known legal firm. Again, a different industry but secretarial work is adaptable to any kind of industry depending who you work with. Seems like lady luck is finally smiling on me. I'll take whatever is offered and supplement it with whatever I can get from my VO world. 


Relationships


Reflecting back, the whole year was a year of ups and downs. New found friends, renewing old friendships, lost of trust, rekindling old flames, forgive and forgets. 


Sad to say, lately my relationship with my Creator has taken a step back and I feel that I'm such a hypocrite. I must review all my relationships and make it right between me and Him. No other relationship most important to me than this relationship and the relationship I have with my family, immediate and extended.


So, in a nutshell, these will be the plans for 2012:


1) Studies: DL for all 3 semesters. Taking 4 subjects each semester, without any deferment. No more playing around.


2) Weight: To reach ideal weight of 57kg by year end no matter what, no matter how. (Yikes!! That is 17 kilos to shed off). Bootcamp starting on 2nd January for a month and will find a way to continue the sessions. Taking on new supplement plan and revising daily menu. HOOYAH!!


3) Home: Going shopping after budget calculations. Hopefully, I can complete my home improvement exercise before school starts.


4) Work: Cannot do much this subject except continue sending resumes to potential employers. Prepare & present my best at the interview on the 5th January. If selected, my daily schedule will be changed and new arrangements will be made.


5) Relationships: Must review!!! No more excuses.