Tried... Tested... Failed yet again

Some things are not meant to be. As for me, I guess I'm meant to be forever single. Truth hurts.. but what is the truth exactly? Words can be convincing but action is deceiving. We can only make plans but will we be able to execute the plans, that is always another story.

And as the story goes... failure yet again.


Deep in thoughts....

16 days into Ramadhan. What have I achieved? Perfectly nothing. I realized that I have steered away from what I set out to be. Why?? I don't know... I guess I'm not strong enough to maintain the changes. All my previous efforts seems futile. I have to restart all over again.

I went for a break in Jerantut over the weekend. Peaceful place. Life seems so relaxed there. Not as hectic as KL. I toyed with the idea of having a place there.. get a land, have a durian orchard, drive around in a Nissan Frontier or Storm.. selling durian from the back of my 4WD over the weekend in KL while working on my book over the weekdays... What a dream. But I still have so much to settle in KL. I can't just leave like that.

Wanna know why I would want to make Jerantut my home?? These are some of the pictures that made me fell in love with it. Nature at its best.






















You like??? I know I do. I'm currently looking for a land there right now. It might take a while.. But I hope it will become a reality by January 2012. It will be a blast. Still so much to do before then. First thing first, need to find the money for it.

Talking about money, a lot have happen in my workplace too. Now it is not like when I first came in. Its totally different. I'm never the kind who will apple polish the boss.. so people like me are not favored. But alhamdulillah.. I've made it clear to my boss I'm not interested in office politics. I rented a room to be close to the workplace, missing my son badly because I want to work. I do not want to have any other relationship with anyone there except work related.

As for relationship, I'm happy as it is now. No pressure from anyone to be committed to a serious relationship. I feel blessed by the love and attention from those around me. Near and far.

Ok.. that's all for today. Want to take a nap before cooking for buka puasa. Today's menu will be Fried Rice, Glutinous rice with durian & Fruit salad.

Ciou!!



Ramadhan is here again!!

Yup peeps! Ramadhan is here...

As for me, days are the same. Work and home. But this year I've promised myself to avoid Pasar Ramadhan at all cost!! Why?? Here's why:-

1) Too many people.

2) Too much food.

3) Too many choices.

4) Too lazy to go.

5) Too fat already anyway!!

Since having FB, I've met many of old schoolmates. And recently found another. He is one of the

closest friend I've ever had in that school.. mind you, I don't really have that many friends. Who wants to be friends with a wacko weirdo like me anyway.

I remember there were 4 of us:- myself, Zaleena a.k.a Chala, Khairil Anwar a.k.a Naga (from next door) and him, Khairul Anuar a.k.a Chubby. And me always remembered us as characters

of TMNT ( Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) listed below. For those who knew us, you guys can guess which one is us.

§ Leonardo (Leo) — The courageous leader and devoted student of martial arts, Leonardo wears a blue mask in some versions and wields two katana. He is the oldest of the four and the most skilled fighter of the turtles. Leonardo was named after the Italian polymath, scientist, engineer, inventor, anatomist, and painter, Leonardo da Vinci.

§ Donatello (Don or Donny) — The knowledgeable scientist, inventor, engineer, and technological genius, Donatello wears a purple mask in some versions and wields the staff. Donatello is perhaps the least violent Turtle, preferring to use his knowledge to solve conflicts. He is named after the sculptor Donatello.§ Raphael (Raph) — The team's bad boy, Raphael wears a red mask and wields a pair of sai. He has an aggressive nature and seldom hesitates to throw the first punch. He is an intense fighter. He would usually speak in a Brooklyn accent. His personality can be

alternately fierce and sarcastic, and oftentimes delivers deadpan humor. Still, he is intensely loyal to his brothers and sensei. Raphael is good friends with Casey Jones. He is named after the Italian painter and architect of the High Renaissance, Raphael.

§ Michelangelo (Mike or Mikey) — Easy-going and free-spirited, Michelangelo wears an orange mask in some versions and wields a pair of nunchaku. Michelangelo provides much of the comic relief. Most of the time, he is youngest of the four Turtles. While he loves to relax, this Turtle also has an adventurous and creative side. He's something of the "surfer" boy, speaking usually in a Southern California accent. He is named after the Italian Renaissance painter, sculptor, architect, poet, and engineer Michelangelo Buonarroti. His name was originally misspelled "Michaelangelo" by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman.

Anyway, Chubby was the last of my three friends who had came back into my life. The only one that I have no contact what so ever for the past 20 years. And I’m glad to have him back. Now, my TMNT is complete (BTW .. I don't think they themselves know that they were my turtle family. But like I said. I'm weird ha ha!) To Chala, Chubby & Naga... Wherever we are, what ever we do, whatever differences we have between us, I do hope we remain friends for always. Ciou!

My baby is hurting!!

At this moment.. If I'm given superpowers.. I choose to have speed, so I could by by your side in a blink of an eye, to hold you, to comfort you, to wipe away your tears. I choose to have healing ability, to be able to mend your heart. I choose to have telekinesis, to be able to make you forget.

Unfortunately... I do not have those powers.

I dreaded this instance from the day you are born, but I do understand this is part and parcel of growing up.. It is something that you will experience in your life, no matter how hard I tried to shield you from it. It is how you take it, how you face it, how you learn from it. Positively or negatively. I believe you are a strong person, you will not let this be a hurdle for you in your studies, in achieving your dreams. I believe your faith is strong, being patient will be rewarding.


Nevertheless, just so you know... I'm crying for you. I wish I could take away the hurt and sadness from you. Just so you know... I'm here for you. Loving you, always and forever.

Nightwish

Thanks to a great sort-of "friend", I found this group. And I seriously love their songs.


And as for the "friend".. we are still in the process of knowing each other. It will be against all my principles, but B makes me feel .... things that I have not felt for a long, long time. B lets me be me, no cover ups, no acting .. just unspeakable understanding. When asked why me, simple answer was given... FATE. So lets see how far fate will bring us.

Hola!!

Long time since the last I've updated this blog. Honestly, I've so busy with work, I sleep only 2-3 hour a day. Not healthy, I know. A lot has happened during this time. Too much till I don't think I can remember any details. In short:-

1) I missed being with my son.
2) I lost a friend due to a LIE (actually 2nd lie)
3) I gained a friend at work.
4) I gained a friend in life.. though he is expecting to be more than just friends.
5) I reconnected with a girlfriend (I love you to pieces Ida)
6) I got 4 flat for my last sem results and Dean's List (never thought I could make it)
7) I love my new room and housemates (If only I have time to sleep on my bed)
8) I need a holiday .. desperately.
9) I need a spa session .. desperately.
10) I need a hair cut.. not so desperately.
11) I need a hug... but I think my son needs it more now then me.
12) I look forward to the next semester (This time I will not defer) and targetting for another DL

That's it for now. Got to go back to work. Bye all!