"D" day!!

.

The day has finally arrived. The feel of excitement since the day I bought the voucher lead up to light sleep. Having working late the past few nights without much rest, I have to admit the body was rebelling. I prepared my gear the night before, got a friend to wake me up at 6 am this morning.

And my day began. Woke up at 6 am. Had a bowl of cornflakes with my usual coffee and chlorophyll. Was out from the house at 6.30 heading to Stadium Mini Setiawangsa. Registered and waited a while for Team Alpha to warm down. Finally at 7 am sharp, my team, Bravo, got called up to the field.

Roll call was done. The trainers, Sjn Nawal and Corp Wan were at hand giving out instructions. And we started off with a 100 meter high leg jog. The field was wet from last night rain and muddy as it has been trampled on by Alpha since an hour before. I managed to complete the first round of jog and we turned directions on order.

Towards the end of second leg of the jog, as order was given to turn direction, some of my fellow team mates turn so fast I barely was able to stop myself. As I tried to turn around, I slipped and fell. I tried to get up and continue on but my right leg was so painful I had to wobble to the side of the field.To my disappointment, I had twisted my ankle and it had started swelling. The throbbing pain was horrendous. I could not remember when last I had this kind of pain. I felt dizzy, sweating profusely, hanging on and willed myself so that I don't pass out.

Sjn Nawal came to my aide, along with the Commander. She assessed my condition and sprayed on the ankle to make it numb. She and the Commander decided I cannot continue, that I will have to go back and put ice on my ankle. I tried to move my leg but I couldn't. I sat there fuming to myself, frustrated that I almost cried. Not so much due to the pain but I was really angry at what had happened.

The Commander stayed with me, comforting me and made me do something that I do not understand at first. He tapped the side of my right palm, asking me to follow him in a chant, and moved on tapping my forehead side of both eyes, under the nose, on the chin, on the collar bone then taking a beep breath and letting it go. As I followed him, the throbbing pain lessened and by the end of the chant, I was able to move my ankle with less pain. We repeated the process and I was able to stand up and step on my right foot without so much pain. 

What was that, I wondered. I did not have time to ask about it. I hobbled to my car, stepping on the gas & brake pedals with tears in my eye, I drove home. 2 minutes... after a month of wait, 2 minutes and that was the end of it. Even though, I'm welcomed to come back for the next session on Wednesday, I don't know whether it will heal by then. Perhaps I can go, try to appeal for my voucher back and sign up for a different team on a later date, after my ankle have healed completely.

My "D" day turn out to be Doomsday. And here I am, nursing my bad ankle. Wishing there is someone I can lean on to take care of my needs at the moment...

Another thought...

Nikah Mut'ah... have you heard of it?

A question that was post to me tonight. Made me think that I need to do some research on it. This is an excerpt from what I've found on Wiki (my constant source of info : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_mut'ah)


Nikāḥ al-Mutʿah (Arabic: نكاح المتعة‎ "pleasure marriage"), is a fixed-term marriage in Shi'a Islam. The duration of this type of marriage is fixed at its inception and is then automatically dissolved upon completion of its term. The marriage is contractual and is subject to renewal. Financial payments may be made between the couple, usually with the male paying the female known as mahr or dower.


But why Mut'ah?


The Nikah al-Mut‘ah is used various ways:
1. It is used in modern times when people move from one place to another, such as from one country to another. Thus students, workers, scholars may enter into a contractual marriage under the verse of the Qur'an which allows ones emotional needs and human needs to be fulfilled if they are in another country. It may lead to permanent marriage afterwards.
2. It may be used to become mahram (unmarriable) with somebody with whom they do not intend to cohabit or have a married relationship, but with whom they spend a lot of time (for example, share a house). In order to ease the hijab "modest dress" rules, they engage in a nikah al-Mut‘ah, specifying in the marriage contract that no physical contact is allowed.
3. Two people who live under the same roof but are not mahram (unmarriable) and must observe hijab may engage in a symbolic nikah al-mut‘ah with the others' offspring for a minimal amount of time (two minutes or less). The Nikahu’l-Mut‘ah does not need to have any practical consequence, but it will make the parent and the offspring's husband or wife permanently mahram to each other, and thus no longer obliged to observe hijab rules.
4. Young unmarried couples may decide to use nikahu l-Mut‘ah as a permissible alternative to entering into a relationship on the premise of future permanent marriage.
5. It might also be seen as a cover for legalized prostitution, as the nikahu l-Mut'ah can last as short as half an hour, and the woman receives financial compensation but in accordance with the Quran must still wait three months (iddah) before the next contract.


Reality check : I am not under any of the 5 points above.

Differences from permanent marriage

Nikah Mut'a is a marriage with a pre-set time. It is important to note that different Marja (authorities) may give different fatwa (legal rulings) on some issues. Many of the following rules may be changed in the Islamic marriage contract.

• The marriage is agreed to be voided after a pre-set time. This permits the couple to expect and prepare emotionally for the end of the marriage.
• No divorce is necessary. In Shi‘a fiqh, divorce is viewed as a complex process and a period aimed at giving the couple the chance to reconcile. This is not necessary in Nikahu’l-Mut‘ah, since the marriage does not end due to disharmony but due to the preset time being reached.
• The husband may void the Nikahu l-Mut‘ah earlier than agreed. If he does and they have had sexual intercourse, he must give her full mahr "bride gift". If they have not had intercourse, he must give her half that amount, though the recommended precaution is that he should give her full mahr. A distinction between a talaq (divorce) in a nikah and voiding a nikahu l-mut‘ah is made in a conversation reported in a hadith collection.
• The couple do not inherit from each other. Since the marriage is not permanent, the couple is not considered a single, merged unit.
• The husband is financially responsible for any children resulting from the marriage. As it is believed that a woman should not be burdened with the responsibility of providing for a family, she is allowed to work and spend her money as she chooses.
• The wife may leave her house against her husband's will.
• The husband need not pay for the wife's expenses. This complements the above point.
• It is permitted to marry a woman from Ahl al-Kitab "People of the Book" (followers of monotheistic religions). The difference in jurisprudence between different religions is overcome by this rule. It is understood that the Muslim Nikah does not have an equivalent form among the People of the Book. Therefore, women who are of the People of the Book are unaccustomed to the special rules of Nikah, for example, the husband's responsibility for the wife's expenses or the wife's not leaving her house against the husband's wishes. These difference in religious laws make it desirable to wait with the higher level of commitment that Nikah requires until they are overcome, in order to minimize potential friction in family life.
• The wives are not counted toward the maximum of four. Since the husband is not required to support the wife, and the marriage is not permanent, the circumstances leading to the restriction of having no more than four wives does not apply. However, many Shi‘a scholars have ruled that one cannot take more than four temporary wives.

Similarities

• The woman might require the consent of her wali ("Legal Guardian") if she is a virgin. However, there is no consensus among the Grand Ayatollahs on this issue. Most Marjas like Ali Sistani require the father's permission, to prevent someone taking advantage of her inexperience; while there are few others who do not require guardian's permission.
• A contract is engaged when entering the marriage. Shi‘a believe that the marriage contract does not require having witnesses, a written contract or permission from authorities.
• The woman observes iddah at the end of the marriage. That is, she must wait before remarrying - but only if she had sexual intercourse.
• Men are not allowed to marry women of non-monotheistic religions, and women can only marry Muslims.

But all in all, Nikah Mut'ah was a custom of pre-islamic Arabs. It has been abolished as per the views below:-

Sunni view

The hadith, or prophetic statements and traditions, can be analyzed to fortify this position.

In the hadith collection of Tirmithy, Abdullah Ibn Abbas narrates:

"Temporary marriage was at the beginning of Islam. A man comes by a town where he has no acquaintances, so he marries for a fixed time depending on his stay in the town, the woman looks after his provisions and prepares his food, until the verse was revealed: 'Except to your wives or what your right hands possess.'"

A majority of Sunnis believe that Muhammad later abolished this type of marriage at several different large events, the most accepted being at Khaybar in 7 AH (629 CE) Bukhari 059.527 and at the Victory of Mecca in 8 AH (630 CE). Most Sunnis believe that Umar later was merely enforcing a prohibition that was established during Muhammad's time.

Shia view

Shi'a believe that Umar ibn al-Khattab abolished it, not the prophet of Islam.

• He did it during the third year of his reign, 15 ah (637 CE), 6 year after the revelation of verse 4:24, in the Hadith of Umar's speech of forbidding Mut'ah, but since he, according to them had no authority to do so, Umar's prohibition seems to be temporary and place specific, hence may be ignored (Muslim 2801 1, 2).

Reality check: We're nearing the end of the century, and Islam have long been established.


I need to go back to my teacher, my ustaz to discuss about this further.


SubhanAllah... there is so much to think, research about when it comes to this. But to me, it does sound like a legalized prostitution as my argument will be why get married in the first place? Why do you get married? I had a discussion with my son about this when he broached the subject of marrying in a early age. One of the reason to be married is to have children. But in a contractual marriage like Nikah Mut'ah, it is not advisable for you to have children. Although husbands are financially responsible for any children resulting from the marriage, it would mean the wife is willing to be a single parent once the contract is over or willing to leave the child with the father since he is financially responsible towards the child. Would it be of the best interest for the child? Is this the path I would want to take / consider? I myself would rather be dead than having my children taken away from me unless they return to Allah s.w.t.


I am a creature of emotion. I admit that I'm greedy for love, affection and attention. I don't quite agree to polygamy for whatever reason there is. But if it is already fated by Allah s.w.t, I will accept for Him, as He only knows what He has in store for me. But it must be a consensual polygamy by all parties involved. There must be a better way to live a life and I don't see Nikah Mut'ah as a solution to my life. I just salute the others who think it is. But I encourage my readers to also read this E-book on Marriage as a form of Ibadah. Perhaps it will help you readers as it had help me in understanding marriage in its simplest form.


Reality conclusion: I can see my family screaming on top of their lungs... YOU ARE CRAZY!!
     

A thought...

Went to a wedding recently and found out that the groom was actually the brother of a friend from a long time ago. This friend is part of a group called Phyne Ballerz and one of their popular song is Vida. And Vida has an English version called Purest of Pain by Son by Four. Both songs means so much to me right now and I would like to share it with you.

AidilAdha 2011

Salam readers,

As promised, this is my AidilAdha story...

Since the day I was born, I could not remember a time when I had to take a bus to my father's hometown.  But due to ridiculous work time management, this time I had to. All because my father arrange a huge family reunion and followed by Qurban for our family this year.

The Journey

Must it be pink??

It was a adventurous journey, ticket bus in hand, I set off from home by cab to the LRT station at 12noon, onwards to KL Sentral by LRT, got stuck at KL Sentral close to 1 1/2 hour as train was delayed, waited at the designated ladies coach section but end up being pushed to a co-coach (luckily the Arab guy standing in front of me was the cutest person of the day), then onwards to TBS by KTM Komuter, onwards to Pontian, Johor by bus at 3.30pm with the holiday traffic madness from K.L to Ayer Keroh, had Kenny Roger's lunch on the bus then focused on work for the next three hours until my battery went dead...

Work!!!

KR Lunch!

Then onwards to Tg Piai by car.... fuh! It was really a long journey arriving the final destination close to 10.00pm.  


The Destination


Tanjung Piai is a cape in Johor which is the southernmost point of Peninsular Malaysia and thus the most southern point of mainland Asia. The skyline of Singapore is visible across Johor Strait from the point. It features seafood restaurants and a resort, perched on wooden jetties that are surrounded by a rugged and rarefied coastline of unspoilt mangrove forest.


This landmark was erected in 2001 to mark Tanjung Piai's unique geographical position as the "Southernmost Tip of Mainland Asia". The exact location of the tip is latitude 01°16 North / longitude 103°30.46 East. The landmark is made of eco-friendly reinforced concrete, measures 20 metres high and 10 metres wide. The monument's stark grey colour represents the rich mangroves and mudflats of Tanjung Piai.

It is adorned by two fronds of the Paku Piai Raya (Acrostichum aureum) - the indigenous fern from which Tanjung Piai derives its name. Tanjung means 'cape' in Malay, and Tanjung Piai is named after this Piai fern, which flourished in abundance in the mangroves here. The atlas of the world emblazoned across the top of the geographical marker enables visitors to truly understand and appreciate exactly where they are on the vast land mass that is Asia.

The Location

We stayed in a two room bungalow at Tanjung Piai Resort. Since I reached there late, I did not have the time to roam about but what I gather from my mom, it has only 1 bungalow unit (the one which we were staying), some single room units and dormitories. There is a seafood restaurant, convenience shop and a conference room. 

 Although our bungalow has only two rooms, it has an attic large enough to fit the entire family. 

At night, you can see across the Straits of Tebrau to Singapore's night light along with lights from numerous ships that are awaiting to be berthed. Some of the guests went for night fishing. Me... I had to finish my work.No fun. But I did venture out a bit to get some fresh sea air in between.

The Event

I can't really tell you much about the event as when I arrived, it was almost over. But the event was sponsored by one of my aunt, a Datin and supposed to gather families descendant from Tok Bedul, my great, great, great grandfather (Am I correct here?). It was said almost 180 people were there. There were family prayers, dinner and an orientation session. P.A system was not that good, so those at the back had difficulty in making out what was said. My dad was the MC for the night. Here are some of the pictures taken by my photographer for the night son.

See my cheese tarts in the photograph? According to my mom, it was gone in less then 10 minutes.

Aidil Adha Day











The next day, Aidiladha, the qurban took place at my aunty's house. There were 2 cows slaughtered, one of them was for my whole family.  Symbolizing the act when Ibrahim a.s was instructed to kill Ismail a.s as an act of obedience to Allah s.w.t. Ibrahim was willing to do it as prove of his obedience but Allah s.w.t then instructed him to slaughter a ram instead of his son. A bull equals to 7 parts, one part to one person. The meat is then distributed to the needy.


 And a feast at my aunty's place is not a feast without her special dish i.e BURASAK. Pure Bugis would know what this is and only a handful of people knows how to make it. It is basically cooked coconut rice wrapped in banana leaf, boiled to perfection like you would boil ketupat. But the banana leaf used here is only a certain type of  banana leaf and it is boiled longer than ketupat. Also it is eaten, not with rendang, but with  Assam Pedas Duduk Wolf Herring (Ikan Parang). "Duduk" means its void of any fancy ingredients of the usual Assam  Pedas. It was told that long time ago, this was the food carried by the buginese warriors when they went to war. Due to its long boiling process, it stays good for a long period of time

The next day, on our journey back to K.L, we stopped by at Kaya Ara Pasong, another aunt's place. They are from my mother's side of the family. I haven't seen them in years but people can easily recognize me as I am my mother's copy cat. After another lunch, went back to K.L and snooze along the way.

The student...

After a week of heavy workload, I finally managed some time to do my assignment. Thank god I only need to do one. It took me 7 1/2 hours but I finally completed and submitted it online today at 7:35am. After the submission, I packed my laptop, ensure I have all my stationeries, my matric card and exam slip. Off to P.J for my mid term exam. 2 papers 45 min each. Not really happy about it. But its all my fault. I realized I didn't not study at all for the exam. Anyway, its done. I tried my best. Now what I need to do is study for my finals in December.

I've registered for my January 2012 semester. Requested to add an extra subject to try and make up for the May semester that I have deferred. I'll try to complete the deferred subjects in 2012 so that I'll be able to finish my studies in 2015 as planned. I know it will be an added strain to my pocket a bit but I know I have to do it.

So friends, wish me luck as I do need all the luck I can get.

News flash!!

As of 11.11.11, my weight is 74.4kg. A total of 3.6kg loss in a week. I'm happy with the progress although I had to increase the intake. Still had my share of pizza this week and still losing it. 


Mode: Happy like crazy!!

News flash!!

Woke up to a great morning! Even though my work is not done yet, I feel great. Lost 2.1 kg in just 2 days even with eating & eating so much during Raya AidilAdha. I'M FEELING GOOD!!!



I'll get to my AidilAdha story later, coz gotta rush now. Just can't help but wanting to share this great news to all my readers. Hope you will have a great day too.

Ciou & take care!!

Loss and Gain...

Today, 05/11/2011... shamelessly admitting I weigh 77.1kg. A little less then the last I weighed 78.2 kg. My height is only 156, so you can imagine how fat I am. YES, I'M FAT. Based on BMI, I'm obese. my last lowest weight was 43kg in 1997. That was when I joined Malaysia Airlines as a Flight Stewardess.

In my 5 years as a crew, I gained so much weight from eating aircraft food and instant noodles. I ended my career as stewardess at 54 kg. The figure was further added to when I did not lose even 1kg from the weight I had carrying my daughter at 9months. Since then, my weight yo-yoed from numerous diet scheme, being vegetarian, drinking horrible tasting  tea and such. Nothing lasts.

Remember one of my new year resolution? One of them was reducing weight and exercise. Almost a year gone, the year is coming to end but I have done nothing about my weight. Other then the trip to Broga last September, I had zero exercise. A friend asked me out one day, and knowing he is quite an athlete, I suggested that we go for a jog, even bought new shoes for it. The outing was cancelled and the shoes stays in its box, in its plastic bag with the receipt still there.

I know I have to do something about it. So I've enrolled myself to a boot camp.Thinking I need the kick on my butt. Its called Original Bootcamp (http://bootcamp.com.my/). It'll start on 28th November 2011 for 4 weeks, 3 days a week.



I can't wait to start. Prior to the programme, I've started on assisted dieting courtesy of my mom. I hope this is the beginning of a new me. Facing year 2012 with a total new look. It is not so much about looking good, it's about staying healthy. This is a kick start to it.

On the other note, I went out with B today. After so many months not seeing him, weeks not hearing from him. He look happier from the last time I met him, getting a new job so close to home with better pay and human working hours. Traffic was bad on our way to Shah Alam going to his friend's house collecting my Cheese Tarts but we happily chatted, catching up on news, joking about meeting future mother in law when sending the tarts over to my mom's house.

I actually didn't know that he was facing some problems with the friend's brother. About a loan he had given not paid. Only when we arrived he told me about it. We went for supper first at a nearby mamak shop and called the friend to join us. After asking her about the situation, he left both of us and went to my friend's house. About 10 minutes after that, we followed.

Upon arriving, we found that they were having a heated argument. Or I can say, the brother was yelling but B...I have not seen anyone as controlled as B. He remained calm throughout the raving but was holding a scissor in his hand, trembling as he was trying very hard to control himself. I tried taking it from him but failed. I was really relieved when at last he put it aside and walked away from the house. Listening to the argument, sitting there with the friend, I derived to a conclusion that B was indeed on the wrong side. But the solution is as simple as the brother going to the bank personally and getting back the bounced cheque. However, the brother shouldn't be yelling and calling names. Come on, B had went out of his way to help the guy when help was needed. At least show him some courtesy.

We left the house and along the way be kept quiet. I tried to cheer him up, talking about other things. To my surprised, tears was running on his cheeks. When I asked him whether he was worried about the money as he needed it for his work he told me, the money he can find, but he lost a very dear friend. They have been friends for very very long time but she could just sat there and did not say anything or stop her brother from yelling. I found out later that she had also concurred with the brother but refrain from saying anything to B.

Then we turned away from the subject and talk about Raya Haji, about my dad's upcoming big family reunion. I managed to make him laugh a bit but before long, tears started falling again. All because I said something about his siblings. Being the youngest of nine, he felt left out by the siblings after both his parents passed away. No one even called him to ask what is his plans for raya or inviting him to the house. I felt like kicking myself right there and then.

All in all, we ended our so called date with him apologising profusely about not able to spend more time with me. That he was happy just being able to talk to me then. When I look at him, I saw a rough spoken person with a brutal outlook but with a very soft heart. Kinda like a pitbull with chocolate dipped strawberries as his heart. And for that, I felt very sorry for him. We said our goodbyes and parted ways with unspoken words of understanding. That's our base of this unnamed relationship... Trust and understanding. I just wish him all the happiness in the world. Even if it's not with me.



Stay the same B. You are amazing just the way you are.

Alarm gone??

Yup... these past few days my phone no longer rings at 6.30am. I guess my alarm is finally gone. Looking at the wall, my suspicions ... well, I can say more or less confirmed. Am I happy about it? I guess I am. It was a fun feeling knowing that someone is thinking of you all the time, loving you the same even though knowing there is no love in return. But all fun must come to an end.

Smiling as I'm typing this, because I know the amount of love and care this person has to give and whoever he had given it to is a very lucky person. I wish him all the happiness in the world.

Thank you for being a part of my life at one time. And for giving me the most precious gift anyone could ever ask for.

My next move now... GET MYSELF A PROPER ALARM CLOCK!! (or maybe two, three, four...)