Another step to make...

Everyday is an adventure for me. Tomorrow brings another new adventure. I'll be joining throngs of daily rush hour commuters, heading to a common location. My relentless search efforts finally rewarded me with the result I have been waiting for. I am so thankful to Allah s.w.t for giving me this opportunity. An opportunity that I will never let go.

The past few days have been busy. With re-arranging daily schedules, budget planning and shopping. I had to discontinue my bootcamp sessions as the timing is off. Now need to figure how to fit a different exercise regime to my schedule. 30 minutes a day, that's all I need. But pre & post 30 minutes is another 5-10 minutes. So I need a gap of 1 hour at least.

In the course of 11/2 years, a lot of things had happen. Some leading me forward to the life I wanted, some pulling me back. At times I felt so disheartened, I'd give up. But every time it made me want the difference more. At times I felt so tired trying to push it away, I'd give in. But every time the pain gets worse. Every inch of me will be screaming to get away from the situation. As I know how it will end... nowhere, as before.

Each time I felt like giving up, I'd look around me. I've achieved this much over the last 1 1/2 years and there is no reason for me to turn back. Only all the reason for me to go forward. I don't dwell on how things could have been, only dwell on how to make things better. My past is a lesson learnt well and my future is planned more carefully. Maybe one of two risk taking activities to quash the Sagittarius in me, however it will no longer be those huge life changing experiences... maybe more to adrenaline pumping kind of stuff.

Change is good when the change is for the better. Believe in thyself as no one would believe in thee. People can condemn other people easily as they only see what they wanted to see, feel only what they wanted to feel. Only I would know what I'm going through and what I want the end to be. So I couldn't care less. People can say I'm heartless, selfish, egoistic bitch. Since people know so much about me, why wait? Stop making excuses to cover your own shortcomings. Stop pointing fingers to others, blaming others for your own mistakes. You know why I say stop? Because I did.

There was nothing in my past that was forced on me. Everything was something that I have chosen for myself. So I only have me to blame. And I only have me to correct. Now I look at myself, imagining I'm my own laptop. I'd function well, but sometime I would hang for whatever reason. And my best buddy will be the button called... RESTART.