Assalamualaikum dear readers...
Been very busy... crazy like hell.
Will write soon after my wedding ceremony on 29th December 2012 with photos and such.
Till then...
Love always.
AIDILFITRI 2012
Assalamualaikum.... Hi readers....
Not to late to wish all a Happy Eid Mubarak... maaf zahir dan batin.
Ramadhan came & left. My 1st Ramadhan as a wife after a while. Sad as it was not as perfect as I would want it to be but happily busy with my responsibility as wife & mother. I know my Syawal this year will be really busy... but I didn't expect it will be THIS busy.
This year is the year at my parents place. A year where everyone gathers at my mom's place. But since this year my cousin delivered a baby boy just before Syawal, so she and her family is not with us.
Oh! By the way, I've started taking Pomegranate Concentrated Juice for health. It has a lot of benefits and is supposed to also help in weight loss and "Gout". So I've got Mr Teddy to take it as well. Other benefits includes treating sinus problem and increase energy level. It taste good and can be diluted with water but I prefer to drink it straight. With a lot of makan2 session this Syawal, my digestive system really needs a bit of boost to help with the cleansing and I'm happy to report that the plumbing system works excellently daily without any serious cramping XD.
Not to late to wish all a Happy Eid Mubarak... maaf zahir dan batin.
Ramadhan came & left. My 1st Ramadhan as a wife after a while. Sad as it was not as perfect as I would want it to be but happily busy with my responsibility as wife & mother. I know my Syawal this year will be really busy... but I didn't expect it will be THIS busy.
This year is the year at my parents place. A year where everyone gathers at my mom's place. But since this year my cousin delivered a baby boy just before Syawal, so she and her family is not with us.
The usual visit to my grandparents grave in Ulu Kelang and Kelang, to my aunty's house to visit her, my cousin and her two children and a trip to Sg. Besar for dinner with my Mak Ngah & Pak Uteh's family completes the day ... or so I thought XD
This year the 1st day raya didn't stop at Sg. Besar. After dinner, my small family and me traveled another 2 and 1/2 hours to Seremban to be with my in-laws. Reached there almost midnight and most of the family members were already asleep.
2nd day of raya, my in-laws place is a mecca for visitors. Extended family members of all ages thronged in and out, the sisters and me became 'bibik' of the day. Towards the evening I became too overwhelmed with fatigue, I couldn't even stand up. Usually 2nd raya for my family will be very quiet except for the raya bowling and karaoke.
3rd raya is visiting day for my husband's family. They will go and visit those who came to the house a day earlier. It's makan2 time, but not for my mother-in-law and my son who had started Syawal fasting and me, as I had started replacing my missed Ramadhan fasting. We went back to K.L after dinner at one of the uncle's house.
K.L traffic was quiet the whole week as schools are still closed for the holidays. Most parents took leave for the whole week to celebrate. The minus point of being a local is the tendency of your leave not being approve is very high. But this year I don't mind working as I need to keep my leave for my sister's wedding and for moving house at the end of the year.
So that's my Aidilfitri for this year. I hope to be able to complete my Syawal fasting before the end of Syawal... then I would have another makan2 time!
Oh! By the way, I've started taking Pomegranate Concentrated Juice for health. It has a lot of benefits and is supposed to also help in weight loss and "Gout". So I've got Mr Teddy to take it as well. Other benefits includes treating sinus problem and increase energy level. It taste good and can be diluted with water but I prefer to drink it straight. With a lot of makan2 session this Syawal, my digestive system really needs a bit of boost to help with the cleansing and I'm happy to report that the plumbing system works excellently daily without any serious cramping XD.
Hope you enjoy reading this Raya update. Sorry if its a bit dry this year without any exciting photos... too busy entertaining... my shutterbug mode asleep.
Till next time!
I AM MARRIED!
Bismillahirrahmannirrahim....
Assalamualaikum everyone! Let me dust off the blog first... Fuhhhhhhh! He he he.
Alrighty then :)
As per the title, I AM MARRIED! Some of you will be asking... WHAT??? WHEN??? WHO??? HOW??? and How come I was not invited?
Ha ha ha... I'm a Sagittarius LOL! I do things first and think later.
Anyway, here's the story.... (anyone not interested can always change the page now!)
I was browsing the Facebook one day and saw status of someone I knew. Clearly it stated as MARRIED. Hmm.. it got me wondering, to who? My dateline was not up yet. So I started browsing the page. From comments and updates, seems that the waiting game is over and a picture confirmed the thought. It was like a slap on my face. A wake up call. What am I waiting for? Why should I be alone if others had continue on with their lives? Why was I still looking over my shoulders, waiting for the date, waiting for the text or the phone call? I had decided then that I wasn't going to say no the next time around. I've prepared myself for all the yes in the world, prepared myself to be a wife, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, prepared myself to be enveloped by the love I once knew. But all hopes were dashed upon seeing that fated photo. And the confirmation from my heart that my love has another. I was grateful to have seen it just before I said anything of my intentions to him.
Mentally prepared, yet totally alone, I set out to re-focus my life again. Then I saw a mouth-watering photo that I couldn't resist to comment on.
It was meant as a joke!!!! Little that I know that he took it seriously.
3 days later he proposed. Over Skype! Romantic? Out of this world! I almost fell off my chair when it came out from his mouth. Wished that it could be recorded. I was ecstatic about it. A proposal from someone I knew so little about.
He was from my past. We were from the same school but we never talked much to each other except for the occasional shouting from me, cheering when he plays for the school football and rugby team. But usually my cheering was in general, not directed to him except when he has the ball. I knew him as a rough rouge. Never saw him smile. Nothing was in a low note from him. Always harsh and loud. That was how I remembered him.
He is still harsh and loud. But beneath the harshness and the loudness, he is soft and fluffy (as my heart puts it) He makes me feel at ease, makes me laugh all the time. He expressed himself so willingly and communicates everything he does or plans to do. He don't make promises but he takes everything into action or at least have an achievable action plan going on for it. He is always thankful for what he has and dreams logical dreams, attainable dreams. A patient, happy-go-lucky and forgiving person.
After the proposal, there was no turning back. I had sketched a plan for us, called the relevant authorities, made appointments and surprised myself on how easy things were done. Everything was so smooth. Even calls to government departments (which usually takes a very long time to be connected) went through on the 1st or 2nd ring! One by one the cloud on the plan was stroked off, added and amended. We did it all on our own, never once we took a pause or rethink the relationship. Each time we hit a bump, I'd asked if anything changed and he would say "Hell no! Full speed ahead matey! Let's follow the flow"
So onward we followed the flow.... and the flow brought us to the completion of his marriage approval form. And the Engagement Day arrives!
16th June 2012 - the E-Day.
There was no plan for an engagement. It was supposed to be a meeting between parents to hand over the form and officially ask for my hand. However, since he is the 1st of his siblings, 1st son and 1st marriage, the mother feels the need to at least have a short engagement. Very short, 6 days.
The small party was held at my mom's home, attended by close families and honoured by my mom's favorite Nasi Ambeng! Both my aunt came and my uncle from PJ was also there (even when he had the timing all wrong)
Everything went smoothly and I'm most thankful to my mom for all her hard work and effort to make it happen in such a short time.
22nd June 2012 - the W-day
6 days later we were officially husband and wife! Simple and sweet but very happening... as I like it.
We are now a family. And he completes me.
For all the well wishes, thank you. For my wacky weirdo family, thank you very much for the support and understanding. For my new family, thank you for having me and my children. For my loving life and heart, thank you for your understanding. For my dearest Mr Teddy... thank you for your love and acceptance of who I am with no questions and no regrets. I'm learning to know you and love you each day. Forgive my shortcomings while I learn to be your other half. Thank you McDonalds and Chicken Foldover for the chance to love again. And most of all, I thank Allah s.w.t for this union and I pray it will last till Jannah.
Wassalam...
P/S: We will be moving to our new home soon, InsyaAllah. We have plans for house warming and all will be invited then. Keep you guys posted!
Assalamualaikum everyone! Let me dust off the blog first... Fuhhhhhhh! He he he.
Alrighty then :)
As per the title, I AM MARRIED! Some of you will be asking... WHAT??? WHEN??? WHO??? HOW??? and How come I was not invited?
Ha ha ha... I'm a Sagittarius LOL! I do things first and think later.
Anyway, here's the story.... (anyone not interested can always change the page now!)
I was browsing the Facebook one day and saw status of someone I knew. Clearly it stated as MARRIED. Hmm.. it got me wondering, to who? My dateline was not up yet. So I started browsing the page. From comments and updates, seems that the waiting game is over and a picture confirmed the thought. It was like a slap on my face. A wake up call. What am I waiting for? Why should I be alone if others had continue on with their lives? Why was I still looking over my shoulders, waiting for the date, waiting for the text or the phone call? I had decided then that I wasn't going to say no the next time around. I've prepared myself for all the yes in the world, prepared myself to be a wife, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, prepared myself to be enveloped by the love I once knew. But all hopes were dashed upon seeing that fated photo. And the confirmation from my heart that my love has another. I was grateful to have seen it just before I said anything of my intentions to him.
Mentally prepared, yet totally alone, I set out to re-focus my life again. Then I saw a mouth-watering photo that I couldn't resist to comment on.
It was meant as a joke!!!! Little that I know that he took it seriously.
3 days later he proposed. Over Skype! Romantic? Out of this world! I almost fell off my chair when it came out from his mouth. Wished that it could be recorded. I was ecstatic about it. A proposal from someone I knew so little about.
He was from my past. We were from the same school but we never talked much to each other except for the occasional shouting from me, cheering when he plays for the school football and rugby team. But usually my cheering was in general, not directed to him except when he has the ball. I knew him as a rough rouge. Never saw him smile. Nothing was in a low note from him. Always harsh and loud. That was how I remembered him.
He is still harsh and loud. But beneath the harshness and the loudness, he is soft and fluffy (as my heart puts it) He makes me feel at ease, makes me laugh all the time. He expressed himself so willingly and communicates everything he does or plans to do. He don't make promises but he takes everything into action or at least have an achievable action plan going on for it. He is always thankful for what he has and dreams logical dreams, attainable dreams. A patient, happy-go-lucky and forgiving person.
After the proposal, there was no turning back. I had sketched a plan for us, called the relevant authorities, made appointments and surprised myself on how easy things were done. Everything was so smooth. Even calls to government departments (which usually takes a very long time to be connected) went through on the 1st or 2nd ring! One by one the cloud on the plan was stroked off, added and amended. We did it all on our own, never once we took a pause or rethink the relationship. Each time we hit a bump, I'd asked if anything changed and he would say "Hell no! Full speed ahead matey! Let's follow the flow"So onward we followed the flow.... and the flow brought us to the completion of his marriage approval form. And the Engagement Day arrives!
16th June 2012 - the E-Day.
There was no plan for an engagement. It was supposed to be a meeting between parents to hand over the form and officially ask for my hand. However, since he is the 1st of his siblings, 1st son and 1st marriage, the mother feels the need to at least have a short engagement. Very short, 6 days.
The small party was held at my mom's home, attended by close families and honoured by my mom's favorite Nasi Ambeng! Both my aunt came and my uncle from PJ was also there (even when he had the timing all wrong)
Everything went smoothly and I'm most thankful to my mom for all her hard work and effort to make it happen in such a short time.
22nd June 2012 - the W-day
6 days later we were officially husband and wife! Simple and sweet but very happening... as I like it.
We are now a family. And he completes me.
For all the well wishes, thank you. For my wacky weirdo family, thank you very much for the support and understanding. For my new family, thank you for having me and my children. For my loving life and heart, thank you for your understanding. For my dearest Mr Teddy... thank you for your love and acceptance of who I am with no questions and no regrets. I'm learning to know you and love you each day. Forgive my shortcomings while I learn to be your other half. Thank you McDonalds and Chicken Foldover for the chance to love again. And most of all, I thank Allah s.w.t for this union and I pray it will last till Jannah.
Wassalam...
P/S: We will be moving to our new home soon, InsyaAllah. We have plans for house warming and all will be invited then. Keep you guys posted!
My knight in shining armour....
Bismillahirrahmannirrahim...
My Knight,
Although it was only 4 short days since we met in the virtual world,
you were so determined that I was the one you have been waiting for all your life.
With a single proposal over Skype, you wanted me in your life for good.
Without a second thought, I've accepted your proposal. Lillahi Taala.
How I could have accepted you so easily without any doubt in my mind, it scares me.
But I've accepted you with all your shortcomings, just as you've accepted me as who I am.
The more I learn about you each passing day, the more I wanted to be with you.
You made me feel worthy, wanted and loved.
For all that you are, is what I've been looking for.
My Imam,
The days for us to be one is getting nearer.
People around me questioned my decision.
But I place all my trust in Allah S.W.T.
For it was Him who brought me to you.
I've place my trust on you wholeheartedly, not once my past waver my decision.
For I believe, everything that has happened in my life, happened for a reason.
That happiness is finally for those who are patient.
And I have never felt as happy as I am since having you in my life.
It is not the kind of love that I've felt before.
It is a sense of completeness,
I feel like a part of my body missing when we are not together.
A clutz with 2 left hands... I'm so lost and empty without you.
You're my source of advice, my compass.
My pillar of strength whenever I'm down and sad.
My Knight,
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for accepting me and my children in your life.
Thank you for wanting to make me your friend, your soul mate, your wife.
You, my Imam, complete me.
Assalamualaikum.
My Knight,
Although it was only 4 short days since we met in the virtual world,
you were so determined that I was the one you have been waiting for all your life.
With a single proposal over Skype, you wanted me in your life for good.
Without a second thought, I've accepted your proposal. Lillahi Taala.
How I could have accepted you so easily without any doubt in my mind, it scares me.
But I've accepted you with all your shortcomings, just as you've accepted me as who I am.
The more I learn about you each passing day, the more I wanted to be with you.
You made me feel worthy, wanted and loved.
For all that you are, is what I've been looking for.
My Imam,
The days for us to be one is getting nearer.
People around me questioned my decision.
But I place all my trust in Allah S.W.T.
For it was Him who brought me to you.
I've place my trust on you wholeheartedly, not once my past waver my decision.
For I believe, everything that has happened in my life, happened for a reason.
That happiness is finally for those who are patient.
And I have never felt as happy as I am since having you in my life.
It is not the kind of love that I've felt before.
It is a sense of completeness,
I feel like a part of my body missing when we are not together.
A clutz with 2 left hands... I'm so lost and empty without you.
You're my source of advice, my compass.
My pillar of strength whenever I'm down and sad.
My Knight,
Thank you for being you.
Thank you for accepting me and my children in your life.
Thank you for wanting to make me your friend, your soul mate, your wife.
You, my Imam, complete me.
Assalamualaikum.
My own lonely heart...
Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.
Salam to all readers.
It was never what I wanted. I don't want it to happen again. After all that I have been through, I was traumatized. But it did.
Friday, 11 May 2012
Assalamualaikum my dear heart.
I have come knocking on your door today, on a blessed Friday, hoping you would give me a chance to mend your broken pieces. Letting me wipe away the tears and blood, take away the pain and suffering. I'm sorry I have neglected you for the past two years. I turned deaf ears to your screams of loneliness. I have no intention to hurt you, but only to find what is right and what is wrong.
And I've found Him, Allah al-Mighty to be the only one who can, only He who has the power, only He is the most Merciful, who would be able to ease your sorrows. Through Him, I found a better way to love. And with His love, I repaired you bit by bit.
This has led me to him, my knight in shining armor. His fierce and rough exterior opens up to a soft and loving interior. Silently, little by little, he made me realize that there is a silver lining in every cloud and there would be rainbow after each thunderstorm. He had lifted away my fears to love another person. His honesty and straightforwardness made me able to trust again.
But deep inside there is still questions.... will he be able to be my Imam? Would he be able to guide me to a life that I'm yearning to have? For me & my family? Would he be able to accept all my flaws? Would he be able to be my strength, mentally, physically and spritually? Would he love me till Jannah?
How would I know if he is for me? I'm tired of being hurt and being let down. I don't have high expectations only for him to love me because of Allah and lead me, guide me, be my friend and soulmate. The answers to this would be isthikarah. The rest is mysteries of life that has been set in stone when we were 120days old in our mothers womb.
Salam to all readers.
It was never what I wanted. I don't want it to happen again. After all that I have been through, I was traumatized. But it did.
Friday, 11 May 2012
Assalamualaikum my dear heart.
I have come knocking on your door today, on a blessed Friday, hoping you would give me a chance to mend your broken pieces. Letting me wipe away the tears and blood, take away the pain and suffering. I'm sorry I have neglected you for the past two years. I turned deaf ears to your screams of loneliness. I have no intention to hurt you, but only to find what is right and what is wrong.
And I've found Him, Allah al-Mighty to be the only one who can, only He who has the power, only He is the most Merciful, who would be able to ease your sorrows. Through Him, I found a better way to love. And with His love, I repaired you bit by bit.
This has led me to him, my knight in shining armor. His fierce and rough exterior opens up to a soft and loving interior. Silently, little by little, he made me realize that there is a silver lining in every cloud and there would be rainbow after each thunderstorm. He had lifted away my fears to love another person. His honesty and straightforwardness made me able to trust again.
But deep inside there is still questions.... will he be able to be my Imam? Would he be able to guide me to a life that I'm yearning to have? For me & my family? Would he be able to accept all my flaws? Would he be able to be my strength, mentally, physically and spritually? Would he love me till Jannah?
How would I know if he is for me? I'm tired of being hurt and being let down. I don't have high expectations only for him to love me because of Allah and lead me, guide me, be my friend and soulmate. The answers to this would be isthikarah. The rest is mysteries of life that has been set in stone when we were 120days old in our mothers womb.
I talked about this briefly with my life and my heart. My life had seen me hurt twice before and I would understand if he doesn't want me to get hurt again. But if the guy could be my Imam, could be relied on on matters of the earth and afterlife, by all means. My heart is 1000% against it. She wants me for herself, only willing to share me with my new extended family. She even considered them as her brothers and sisters already and refuse to go back to Johor for the upcoming holidays because wanted to spend time with them.
I'm in a real dilemma now. One day, both of them will have their own family. And I'll be alone. Not that I can not be on my own but in each book I read, the things I've learnt in the past about how easy it is for a wife to get blessings from Allah s.w.t, how easy is for married couples to get pahala even from the small things they do. It made me ask myself, what kind of life do I really want. Do I really wanted to be alone?
My past hasn't been rosy, I admit that. I blame it on myself, no one else. The decisions I made before was not based on my faith, but lust. I have now left it all to Allah s.w.t as He knows what he has in store for me as I strive to be a better person.
My past hasn't been rosy, I admit that. I blame it on myself, no one else. The decisions I made before was not based on my faith, but lust. I have now left it all to Allah s.w.t as He knows what he has in store for me as I strive to be a better person.
Then, my knight gave me this song.
Just listening to it made my tears fell. What have I done to deserve such a person in my life? How could he love me so willingly even when I have told him all the worst things about me? How could he love me so easily as though all this years he had been waiting for me? I suddenly felt so scared as it is too good to be true. All I wanted in a person, he has it. I'm so scared, I have goosebumps all over just thinking of it. Ya Allah, if this person is meant for me, please protect this relationship till it becomes halal and further on to Jannah. Ya Allah, if this is what you have planned for me, I'll accept wholeheartedly as I believe and I have placed all my faith on you Ar Rahman Ar Rahim.
Dearest readers...
Please pray for me... for strength, for patience and for love.
Dearest readers...
Please pray for me... for strength, for patience and for love.
ABOY IS BACK!!!
Hehehe... Hi there readers,
Most of you must be wondering... who is this ABOY. This is the story....
1989, the first time I set foot to Sekolah Tunku Ampuan Durah, Seremban was the first time I started life as "budak hostel" - dorm kid. I actually wanted to attend Sek Men Vokasional (Perdagangan) Johor Bahru, but my dad sent me here instead. Closer to your brother, he said. Mr elder brother was a student of a full board school next door, Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak or better known as SDAR. So, I began my life being a STADian.
I came to that school with a waist long hair. Thick and shiny black. Always in pony tail. But living in a hostel, time to take care of the hair is limited. I have time only to wash my hair late night, drying it by sitting under the fan when everyone else is fast asleep. No hair dryer allowed. So the first time I get to go home for the holidays, I pleaded to my father, I told him I needed to cut my hair due to that reason.
"Okay", he said. So he took me to a hair saloon in Selayang Jaya. He told the stylist to trim my hair while he went off to do some errands. My brain whirred... "Only a trim??", I thought. I sneaked out from the saloon and went into an Indian barber shop next door. "Aya! Potong pendek! Tapak satu... cepat ya!" (Aya - a name we call the old Indian guy, father in Indian - I think) ( Tapak satu - is the thiness of blade used on the electric razor) The result was very very short hair a.k.a GI Joe style. When I came out, my father was looking for me at the saloon. He saw me outside, speechless... (or did he said something and I don't remember) Anyway, we went home, nothing could be done to undo it. (My reasoning was the hair will grow back anyway). It was almost Aidilfitri and on that Aidilfitri, my father's family came from Johor and we had a "kenduri" at home. I was wearing a "baju kurung" with spiky hair. I remembered being chided about my hair but I couldn't care less. I wore a white "selendang" over my head so as not to be too obvious.
Came the time I had to go back to school. Happy with my new hair but turning heads at the dormitory. Then the orientation week started. You know how dorm kids normally have nicknames for freshies. I was a freshie, always wearing black, whether baju kurung, t-shirts etc. They gave me the name Kelawar (Bat) because of that. We had to wear a placard with our freshie names everywhere except for school for a whole week. Someone else added the word BOY to my placard - due to my short hair and the fact that I am quite boyish myself. Orientation week over, placard kept away and the name Kelawar was forgotten. Only BOY remained and they called me ABOY ever since. Even when I had longer hair when I was in Form 5. Till today, whenever I met some of the STADians, they would still remember me as ABOY.
Now, you would be wondering why I said ABOY IS BACK!. Because ABOY is back... this time with a BANG!
During my teen years I loved the song, Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O'Connor... and I loved the song still.
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Most of you must be wondering... who is this ABOY. This is the story....
1989, the first time I set foot to Sekolah Tunku Ampuan Durah, Seremban was the first time I started life as "budak hostel" - dorm kid. I actually wanted to attend Sek Men Vokasional (Perdagangan) Johor Bahru, but my dad sent me here instead. Closer to your brother, he said. Mr elder brother was a student of a full board school next door, Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak or better known as SDAR. So, I began my life being a STADian.
I came to that school with a waist long hair. Thick and shiny black. Always in pony tail. But living in a hostel, time to take care of the hair is limited. I have time only to wash my hair late night, drying it by sitting under the fan when everyone else is fast asleep. No hair dryer allowed. So the first time I get to go home for the holidays, I pleaded to my father, I told him I needed to cut my hair due to that reason.
"Okay", he said. So he took me to a hair saloon in Selayang Jaya. He told the stylist to trim my hair while he went off to do some errands. My brain whirred... "Only a trim??", I thought. I sneaked out from the saloon and went into an Indian barber shop next door. "Aya! Potong pendek! Tapak satu... cepat ya!" (Aya - a name we call the old Indian guy, father in Indian - I think) ( Tapak satu - is the thiness of blade used on the electric razor) The result was very very short hair a.k.a GI Joe style. When I came out, my father was looking for me at the saloon. He saw me outside, speechless... (or did he said something and I don't remember) Anyway, we went home, nothing could be done to undo it. (My reasoning was the hair will grow back anyway). It was almost Aidilfitri and on that Aidilfitri, my father's family came from Johor and we had a "kenduri" at home. I was wearing a "baju kurung" with spiky hair. I remembered being chided about my hair but I couldn't care less. I wore a white "selendang" over my head so as not to be too obvious.
Came the time I had to go back to school. Happy with my new hair but turning heads at the dormitory. Then the orientation week started. You know how dorm kids normally have nicknames for freshies. I was a freshie, always wearing black, whether baju kurung, t-shirts etc. They gave me the name Kelawar (Bat) because of that. We had to wear a placard with our freshie names everywhere except for school for a whole week. Someone else added the word BOY to my placard - due to my short hair and the fact that I am quite boyish myself. Orientation week over, placard kept away and the name Kelawar was forgotten. Only BOY remained and they called me ABOY ever since. Even when I had longer hair when I was in Form 5. Till today, whenever I met some of the STADians, they would still remember me as ABOY.
Now, you would be wondering why I said ABOY IS BACK!. Because ABOY is back... this time with a BANG!
During my teen years I loved the song, Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O'Connor... and I loved the song still.
See the hair???.... Only I'm "hairless" Hahahaha...Yup! I went crazy this time and have gone full monty with the head. Totally bald. Like my son once was.
.jpg)
Same Aya shop 23 years ago - different Aya. He thought that I wanted to cut my daughter's hair, who also has short hair and he thought she was a boy. His eyes when round when I told him I wanted to cut my hair. Reluctantly but laughing, he did as told. Told him that it would make no difference as I am wearing a tudung (headcover). I knew I should have gone to a female saloon but they wouldn't have the preciseness of a barber shop. Moreover its much cheaper... only RM10 compared to a saloon which will be no less than RM35. Over and done with. No more sweeping hair off the floor on a daily basis as my hair falls a lot. No more dandruff. Gone with the itchiness :)
It felt funny but totally airy and light. Loving it. Might consider maintaining it this way from this day forward. Surely those ladies at the office surau will be in shock, but the novelty will pass. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying it. ^-^
Oh ya... I treated myself & mom to spa today. It was very last minute as they actually called to cancel my appointment in another branch for the 5th. Enjoyed the long awaited massage session... Blissful.
Back to the office tomorrow after 4 days break. Registering for a new semester this Sunday. Another exam on the 19th to prepare for. Rejuvenated and looking forward to the hustle and bustle of being busy.
Till next time dearest... Ciou!
Love...
Love...
I never want to talk about you...
I never want to think of you...
But the truth is...
I've missed you.
Love...
Whatever happened, you've been a crucial part of my life.
A part that I've always hoped to be better
But I know it can never be...
Everything happens with a reason...
Only He knows whats best.
Love...
Maybe this is the best for us...
Just so you know,
there is never one second
this heart did not wish
you are here with me.
Salam.
I never want to talk about you...
I never want to think of you...
But the truth is...
I've missed you.
Love...
Whatever happened, you've been a crucial part of my life.
A part that I've always hoped to be better
But I know it can never be...
Everything happens with a reason...
Only He knows whats best.
Love...
Maybe this is the best for us...
Just so you know,
there is never one second
this heart did not wish
you are here with me.
Salam.
Exam month!
Alright!!! April is approaching... meaning its exam month! Been busy lately with work, assignment and work. Tomorrow will be going to a few bridal houses, looking at wedding packages, set up & dresses.
So start Monday, I would need to put some hours to exam preparation. With 1st paper starting on the 7th, I don't have a lot of time. Wishing for a break but so much to do so little time. April exam, May register, June op, August exam, Sept register, Sept wedding, Dec exam, January register, February wedding, April exam ... and the list goes...
Anyway, I still have some spa voucher and my monthly treatment. Its a few hours of escape I really look forward to. And my daily dose of CA family time :)
Okay readers, got to go now... Till next time, I'll leave you with this amazing rendition. Enjoy!
So start Monday, I would need to put some hours to exam preparation. With 1st paper starting on the 7th, I don't have a lot of time. Wishing for a break but so much to do so little time. April exam, May register, June op, August exam, Sept register, Sept wedding, Dec exam, January register, February wedding, April exam ... and the list goes...Anyway, I still have some spa voucher and my monthly treatment. Its a few hours of escape I really look forward to. And my daily dose of CA family time :)
Okay readers, got to go now... Till next time, I'll leave you with this amazing rendition. Enjoy!
When two hearts unite...
Today marks a very special moment in my life... extra special for my dearest life...
I've set my heart on this angel since the day I knew of her existence. I had hoped that one day, this angel will bring light to our broken souls. When I got to know more about her, I knew I've made the right choice for my life. To me, she is truly an angel. A godsend.
I've set my heart on this angel since the day I knew of her existence. I had hoped that one day, this angel will bring light to our broken souls. When I got to know more about her, I knew I've made the right choice for my life. To me, she is truly an angel. A godsend.
Went to her family's house with one thing in mind. I want her.... and I know my life will be happy with her. Amids jokes and laughter, I took out the ring I've brought. A booking fee... for a lifetime of blessings from Illahi. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. The easiness shows how ArRahman ArRahim bless this intended union. As though it has been written in His books ... for my life and his angel.
For my life... my days are counted. One day I will not be around to share your joys and your sorrows. I present to you this angel, to wipe your tears when I'm gone, to care for you in your sickness, to laugh with you when you are happy. She is created for you from your ribs, to safeguard the most important thing in your life... your heart. Cherish her... love her... for Allah s.w.t has sent you the most precious gift anyone could ever ask for... your guardian angel... your soul mate. My life, forgive me as I have not been a perfect person. I've failed to show you the righteous path. I failed to guide you as I should have. My only hope is to redeem my wrongdoings through this angel, as I trust she would be able to fill the void I had left.
For my angel... I give you my life. The most precious gift Allah s.w.t has given me. Care for him as you would care yourself. Forgive him for all his lacking as it is due to my ignorance, guide him to be a better person... a better khalifah. For I know, you are the guiding light of his soul.
I pray for your happiness... pray you'll be blessed always. Be a partner and a friend. A teacher and a student. Share knowledge and learn from each other. You will always be my life, the love of my life ... and my angel... you are my beautiful happiness.
UNLIKE!!!
I like what you wrote ...
As it reminded me...
You are as you'll always be.
I like what you say...
It reflected the kind of person you are...
Although you deny it...
Action speaks louder than words.
I like your reaction...
It showed how immature and childish you can be...
And revealed your own stupidity...
I like how your mind is so set...
I'm sure you think you are one of His chosen ones...
That all your prayers will be answered...
No matter good or bad.
I like that you are so sure you think you know more about it...
Since you are brought up by those who are strict in religion...
As your friends are among the pious people...
And you yourself talk about performing the Umrah...
Talk about the blackness of other people's heart...
As though your heart is so pure.
But I UNLIKE when you placed the blame on Allah s.w.t...
Saying it's Him who moved your hands to type what you typed...
As though your words were His words.
And I UNLIKE the brains that Allah s.w.t has given to you...
How it is not used thoughtfully as how Allah s.w.t meant it to be...
How frustrations so quickly diminish all the greatness in you...
How anger so hotly envelop your soul...
And how easily you lose.
So, there is a Malay proverb...
Terlajak perahu boleh di undur, terlajak kata buruk padahnya.
As such, I'll refrain myself for saying anything more...
Since as you have mentioned that I'm stupid...
I would rather use my stupid brains for other stuff...
Then use it to think of you, about you...
'Cause it is VERY UNLIKELY that I'LL LIKE.
March is here!!!
3rd month in the year... What have I achieved so far?
1) I love my new job, new workplace and new friends.
Being a Secretary is something I enjoy very much. Most people would ask, why not being a BOSS instead? I've tried being a boss before. And failed miserably. I'm a creature of discipline but I can never discipline myself. I prefer to have guidelines to follow and my most important guideline will be the one set by Allah s.w.t.
My new workplace is dubbed as an old folks home. It's a law firm where no one willingly or forcibly resigns. You can work as long as you want. There is no retirement age. Those who resigns are people who wanted a career change or higher pay. And mostly those who did resign are young people who feels out of place in a snail paced environment. The building I work in offers prayer rooms and also daily talks during lunch time which I enjoy attending since day 1.
My new friends consists of both young and experienced people from different walks of life. Although there were some initial confusions on my status but all have been ironed out and I managed to keep the relationship cordial & work-related.
2) Getting better in scootering.
Reflecting back on my first post about Pinky, how scared and nervous I was then. Now I feel more comfortable and a little braver. Going 60-70 kmh mostly but still wobbly when it comes to sneaking in and out traffic. With headphones on, I'd keep to my left and enjoy Surah Yassin while commuting to & fro from work. I've even started having a pillion rider but only for short distances.
3) Reshuffling finances.
Getting my first full pay on the dot after 1 1/2 years is a blessing. This time, I will follow the steps taken by those in the Astro TV series (I forgot the name of the series) where this planner comes into the house, takes a look inside and outside the house, take a look at the participants expenses, gave them challenges and reward them USD5000 if they passed. No doubt no one will be giving me USD5000 if I passed, but I look forward to a better way of managing my finances. 1st step... CUT THE CREDIT CARD!
Now... If only I can write my assignments as well as I write my blog... Tsk... tsk... tsk!
Ciou!
1) I love my new job, new workplace and new friends.
Being a Secretary is something I enjoy very much. Most people would ask, why not being a BOSS instead? I've tried being a boss before. And failed miserably. I'm a creature of discipline but I can never discipline myself. I prefer to have guidelines to follow and my most important guideline will be the one set by Allah s.w.t.
My new workplace is dubbed as an old folks home. It's a law firm where no one willingly or forcibly resigns. You can work as long as you want. There is no retirement age. Those who resigns are people who wanted a career change or higher pay. And mostly those who did resign are young people who feels out of place in a snail paced environment. The building I work in offers prayer rooms and also daily talks during lunch time which I enjoy attending since day 1.
My new friends consists of both young and experienced people from different walks of life. Although there were some initial confusions on my status but all have been ironed out and I managed to keep the relationship cordial & work-related.
2) Getting better in scootering.
Reflecting back on my first post about Pinky, how scared and nervous I was then. Now I feel more comfortable and a little braver. Going 60-70 kmh mostly but still wobbly when it comes to sneaking in and out traffic. With headphones on, I'd keep to my left and enjoy Surah Yassin while commuting to & fro from work. I've even started having a pillion rider but only for short distances.
3) Reshuffling finances.
Getting my first full pay on the dot after 1 1/2 years is a blessing. This time, I will follow the steps taken by those in the Astro TV series (I forgot the name of the series) where this planner comes into the house, takes a look inside and outside the house, take a look at the participants expenses, gave them challenges and reward them USD5000 if they passed. No doubt no one will be giving me USD5000 if I passed, but I look forward to a better way of managing my finances. 1st step... CUT THE CREDIT CARD!
Now... If only I can write my assignments as well as I write my blog... Tsk... tsk... tsk!
Ciou!
Hey you!!!
Hope you have a great day today! Don't forget to thank your mom for bringing you to this world. I have a lot to say to you but I guess it's better if I kept my silence. Don't want to make matters worse. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this!!!
I give up!!
I really don't know.... Is it written on my face somewhere that I'm desperate???? Truthfully, I'm not. I AM single but I'm NOT desperate at all. Someone once mentioned that I'm even experiencing menopause already at my age. (Psst.. I'm still in my 3 series okay - but too bad if the person who said that don't even know how to satisfy me) But I repeat... I AM NOT DESPERATE!!!
It is so hard to believe? There are other things in this world besides SEX. Why don't guys who wants to be friends with me think of anything else? Am I sending the wrong signals? I would agree if I did that 3 years back. But even with wearing hijab now, why do guys still think that I desperately need some kind of companion? I've got people telling me, what you don't see is what makes women in hijab sexier. Allahu Rabb!!!
Don't you guys understand what hijab is? Need I explain it in detail??? And these are all from married men!!! Don't you guys get enough at home??? I can understand if you don't or your wife have problems and you have 1 or no child at all. But if you have 5,6,7 children???? AND YOU SAY YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH???? Puhleeeseeeeee!!!!!!!
Ladies! I do not want to take your husbands. I have got enough problems in my hands already. I don't need any more. But if you don't even mind sharing your husbands with me... then tell your husbands that IF THEY CAN AFFORD TO BE FAIR, GET MARRIED! I'm not against polygamy... I don't even mind. But if the husbands are being supported by their wives, do you ladies think its fair???
Fairness doesn't mean emotional fairness. There is no emotional fairness! Even Rasulullah S.A.W is not emotionally fair between his wives. And Rasulullah S.A.W was only with Siti Khadijah r.a when she was alive because Siti Khadijah r.a supported him. Don't quote the sunnah when you are only looking at the polygamy issue but you don't practice his other sunnahs. But then who am I to quote on religion, I'm not perfect. I don't know much but I'm learning.
Again, for the love of Allah S.W.T... I AM NOT DESPERATE!!!!
It is so hard to believe? There are other things in this world besides SEX. Why don't guys who wants to be friends with me think of anything else? Am I sending the wrong signals? I would agree if I did that 3 years back. But even with wearing hijab now, why do guys still think that I desperately need some kind of companion? I've got people telling me, what you don't see is what makes women in hijab sexier. Allahu Rabb!!!
Don't you guys understand what hijab is? Need I explain it in detail??? And these are all from married men!!! Don't you guys get enough at home??? I can understand if you don't or your wife have problems and you have 1 or no child at all. But if you have 5,6,7 children???? AND YOU SAY YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH???? Puhleeeseeeeee!!!!!!!
Ladies! I do not want to take your husbands. I have got enough problems in my hands already. I don't need any more. But if you don't even mind sharing your husbands with me... then tell your husbands that IF THEY CAN AFFORD TO BE FAIR, GET MARRIED! I'm not against polygamy... I don't even mind. But if the husbands are being supported by their wives, do you ladies think its fair???
Fairness doesn't mean emotional fairness. There is no emotional fairness! Even Rasulullah S.A.W is not emotionally fair between his wives. And Rasulullah S.A.W was only with Siti Khadijah r.a when she was alive because Siti Khadijah r.a supported him. Don't quote the sunnah when you are only looking at the polygamy issue but you don't practice his other sunnahs. But then who am I to quote on religion, I'm not perfect. I don't know much but I'm learning.
Again, for the love of Allah S.W.T... I AM NOT DESPERATE!!!!
Running away...
What is the purpose of running away? Have any of the problems solved? NO!
Nevertheless, meeting up with a good friend clarifies a lot of haziness in the mind. A reminder of what I'm supposed to do. Now I'm back with a vengeance. Cleaning up my "friends" list via BBM, FB, WhatsApp, phone list etc. Children, work, study & business is my main priority.
Relationship??? Bah humbug! Anyone who wants to be a friend, base the friendship with this... IKHLAS. Don't expect anything from me. If you do not like it... REMOVE ME FROM YOUR FRIEND LIST!
Thank you.
Relationship??? Bah humbug! Anyone who wants to be a friend, base the friendship with this... IKHLAS. Don't expect anything from me. If you do not like it... REMOVE ME FROM YOUR FRIEND LIST!
Thank you.
My Pinky Baby!
Hello there!!!
A nerve-wreaking day today as I waited to see my new baby. I used to own one of these before. I bought this baby in 1995 (if i'm not mistaken)
 |
| KAWASAKI ZZR 250 |
I've only rode the bike myself twice. The second time, it fell on me right in front of my mom's house & I could not lift it up. At 5'2" and 45kg at the time, this bike was too big for me. But at the time, my dreams were bigger and I was adamant that I wanted this bike. I was then confident that I could ride it, as I was learning to ride on a 500cc bike. And so I bought this baby, in green & black. Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had to let it go to a friend. And until now I wished I hadn't, as that friend passed away in an accident while riding this bike.
However, circumstances again put me in a situation of needing a 2-wheeler. Of course bicycle is not an option (although, thinking of it now, it might be a better & healthier option), I finally gave in to acquire a new set of wheels. Considering between two options, I decided to choose one over another due to its safety features. And so I nervously waited for my Pinky Baby (as I dubbed it) to be ready.
Called the shop as soon as I woke up to re-confirm its readiness. Went there with my two children to welcome the newest member of our family. After all the formalization, I became a proud owner of this new toy.
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| My 2 human babies with PINKY BABY! |
But I know my son will not be there for me on a daily basis & I need to know how to ride. The mechanic advised me to fill up petrol & told me where was the nearest petrol station. I summoned all the courage I have, take a last look at my human children and off I go.... at 30kmh...40 kmh... wobbling, trying to focus on balancing the throttle.
At the petrol station, out of habit, I went in to the counter, instead of paying from outside. The cashier looked at me questioningly as I hand over a RM10 note. Went over to the pump and filled up until full (about RM5.60) Started the engine and rode off back to the shop, only to find my children have gone home already.
Okay.... Now I do not have any other choice but to ride the bike back to my mom's place on my own. Contemplating on which better way to use, I opted for the main road. Hoping I would fare better there then on a smaller inner road. All along the way, my mind kept playing images of nasty motorcycle accidents. Thoughts went haywire. The only thing that was making me sane was by reciting surah and selawat all the way.
Finally, I was home. Safe & sound. Still vibrating from the trip and flushing from the adrenaline rush, I almost trip over while trying to place it on double stand. But I made it... all on my own. The first bike that I was able to place on a double stand on my own, without any help at all (Yippiee!!) I was beaming with pride.
Only when I sat down at the sofa I realised, that I didn't take the balance of my money at the petrol station. (o.O)
Another step to make...
Everyday is an adventure for me. Tomorrow brings another new adventure. I'll be joining throngs of daily rush hour commuters, heading to a common location. My relentless search efforts finally rewarded me with the result I have been waiting for. I am so thankful to Allah s.w.t for giving me this opportunity. An opportunity that I will never let go.The past few days have been busy. With re-arranging daily schedules, budget planning and shopping. I had to discontinue my bootcamp sessions as the timing is off. Now need to figure how to fit a different exercise regime to my schedule. 30 minutes a day, that's all I need. But pre & post 30 minutes is another 5-10 minutes. So I need a gap of 1 hour at least.
In the course of 11/2 years, a lot of things had happen. Some leading me forward to the life I wanted, some pulling me back. At times I felt so disheartened, I'd give up. But every time it made me want the difference more. At times I felt so tired trying to push it away, I'd give in. But every time the pain gets worse. Every inch of me will be screaming to get away from the situation. As I know how it will end... nowhere, as before.
Each time I felt like giving up, I'd look around me. I've achieved this much over the last 1 1/2 years and there is no reason for me to turn back. Only all the reason for me to go forward. I don't dwell on how things could have been, only dwell on how to make things better. My past is a lesson learnt well and my future is planned more carefully. Maybe one of two risk taking activities to quash the Sagittarius in me, however it will no longer be those huge life changing experiences... maybe more to adrenaline pumping kind of stuff.
Change is good when the change is for the better. Believe in thyself as no one would believe in thee. People can condemn other people easily as they only see what they wanted to see, feel only what they wanted to feel. Only I would know what I'm going through and what I want the end to be. So I couldn't care less. People can say I'm heartless, selfish, egoistic bitch. Since people know so much about me, why wait? Stop making excuses to cover your own shortcomings. Stop pointing fingers to others, blaming others for your own mistakes. You know why I say stop? Because I did.
There was nothing in my past that was forced on me. Everything was something that I have chosen for myself. So I only have me to blame. And I only have me to correct. Now I look at myself, imagining I'm my own laptop. I'd function well, but sometime I would hang for whatever reason. And my best buddy will be the button called... RESTART.
Shhhh.....
Wow...
I know sometimes it is better to keep quiet rather then talking too much. But it hurts when people misunderstands you. Then when I try to speak out, try to explain things, people say that I'm good at twisting my words. Fine... I'll keep quiet. Go ahead... think what you want to think of me. If you think that I'm so heartless... fine. Go ahead. All I can say is, thank you.
I know sometimes it is better to keep quiet rather then talking too much. But it hurts when people misunderstands you. Then when I try to speak out, try to explain things, people say that I'm good at twisting my words. Fine... I'll keep quiet. Go ahead... think what you want to think of me. If you think that I'm so heartless... fine. Go ahead. All I can say is, thank you.
The student in me....
Went to register for my 3rd semester today and took my modules. As I've mentioned before, I'll be taking 4 subjects instead of 3 this year to make up for the lost time.
Subjects that I'll be taking this semester are:
1) English for Oral Communication
2) Reading and Writing across the Curriculum
3) Introduction to Business Communication
4) Introduction to Linguistics
Heavy stuff. Heavier as all subjects will have assignments and final exam. (T^T) Sure wished that I did not take the extra subject. But there is no turning back and I need to complete the additional subjects anyway before taking on the more heavier subjects. One of the lecturer had warned us about one of the subject we were going to take this semester, as he had only 1 student last semester for this subject, still the student did poorly. I could not remember which one.
So, I've got to get ahead and start my reading sessions. I've already started on the Oral Comm. Need to complete a few chapters to be ready for T1 at the end of the month.
Wish me luck guys!!
Subjects that I'll be taking this semester are:
1) English for Oral Communication
2) Reading and Writing across the Curriculum
3) Introduction to Business Communication
4) Introduction to Linguistics
Heavy stuff. Heavier as all subjects will have assignments and final exam. (T^T) Sure wished that I did not take the extra subject. But there is no turning back and I need to complete the additional subjects anyway before taking on the more heavier subjects. One of the lecturer had warned us about one of the subject we were going to take this semester, as he had only 1 student last semester for this subject, still the student did poorly. I could not remember which one.
So, I've got to get ahead and start my reading sessions. I've already started on the Oral Comm. Need to complete a few chapters to be ready for T1 at the end of the month.
Wish me luck guys!!
Movie Time!!!
Me & FK2 have been meaning to see "We bought a zoo" but when we went to our usual cinema, the show was over for the day. As we were about to walk back, FK2 saw the trailer for Satu Malam Kubur Berasap and wanted to see the movie. Honestly, I don't fancy comedy genre so much especially those that are supposed to be horror movies. But FK2 almost always get what she wants. Even with all the bribery of going to the arcade, getting ice cream & marshmallows, she still wanted to see the movie. And so we went.
Armed with popcorn, milo & sweetcorn, we got in our seats and settled in. Once all the advertisements were over, a movie entitled The Darkest Hour began. I was like Huh?? Started looking around, checking our tickets. Seeing everyone else was doing the same thing. Some people walk out to find the staff in-charge. Obviously they had played the wrong movie as everyone had the same tickets.
Anyway, I still wanted her to watch "We bought a zoo". Still fresh from her last visit to the zoo, I'm sure she would enjoy the movie. Booked seats for Saturday. Looking forward to watch it. Let you know my reviews for the movie afterwards.
Armed with popcorn, milo & sweetcorn, we got in our seats and settled in. Once all the advertisements were over, a movie entitled The Darkest Hour began. I was like Huh?? Started looking around, checking our tickets. Seeing everyone else was doing the same thing. Some people walk out to find the staff in-charge. Obviously they had played the wrong movie as everyone had the same tickets.
When finally the correct movie was played, I just relaxed, munching on popcorns as I was very sure that the horror part will not be horrifying at all. True to my words, not horrifying but quite shocking at times. And unfortunately for me, there was this one time, I wasn't paying much attention to the movie, when suddenly a shadow passed by out of nowhere. I almost jumped out of my skin and some of the popcorn in my hand jumped out of its barrel on to my head and the audience behind me laughed. FK2 doubled over with laughter when I told her I won't hold the popcorn anymore.
The storyline was lame. Three friends, Atan, Bun and Pie combined with Mie, who had some problems with his car, were approached by Siti, who was trying to get their help in revenging her death.However, the 1st part of the move was unrelated at all to this incident. It was focusing more on each individual's experience with ghosts. Nevertheless, I applaud the effort. Should this was a serious horror movie, the ghosts are believable. But the antics of this 4 friends did not escape FK2 as she laughed out 80% of the time. As usual, I had to listen to her never ending review the whole journey back home. I was glad she enjoyed it.
Ciou!
Hooyah!!!
Phew! What a way to start a new year. I've had my first bootcamp session this morning. We started with our warm up session, then 2 benchmark test and warm down. I was paired with Theresa, who is a month senior. (Would be my batch mate if not for my bad ankle)
1st benchmark test: 3 sets of 2x200meter jog, 10 push ups / 15 if legs bent, 10 crunches & 10 sit ups / 20 if assisted.
My achievement? 1 full set & 1x200meter walk :(
2nd benchmark test: 8x200meter jog.
My achievement? 6x200meter walk XD
I guess Sjn Nawal must have given up on me but at least Cpl Rizz did his best to motivate me to at least jog a bit. And for someone who have not exercised for a very very long time, I think I did well (minus the vomiting part)
Come on guys... who dares to join me?? Syok tau! Details at http://www.bootcamp.com.my or you can always Shout out! to me.
1st benchmark test: 3 sets of 2x200meter jog, 10 push ups / 15 if legs bent, 10 crunches & 10 sit ups / 20 if assisted.
My achievement? 1 full set & 1x200meter walk :(
2nd benchmark test: 8x200meter jog.
My achievement? 6x200meter walk XD
I guess Sjn Nawal must have given up on me but at least Cpl Rizz did his best to motivate me to at least jog a bit. And for someone who have not exercised for a very very long time, I think I did well (minus the vomiting part)
Come on guys... who dares to join me?? Syok tau! Details at http://www.bootcamp.com.my or you can always Shout out! to me.
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